As a cerebral palsied quadriplegic, one of the largest barriers I've encountered in trying to build relationships with people is that many are so terrified by the thought of saying the "wrong" thing that they lose the ability to speak freely and openly, or worse, choose to avoid interaction altogether.
While I can't speak for other disabled people, perhaps some honesty about what does and what does not cause fear and trepidation within me could somehow be useful:
What people think scares or angers me
- Referring to me as disabled. This doesn't bother me at all; in fact, I detest politically correct alternatives such as "physically challenged" and "differently able" because they are nothing more than cowardly attempts to avoid an unpleasant truth.
- "Offending me" by not understanding my disability. I've lived with this since birth, you haven't. How could you possibly be expected to understand my situation if you're forbidden to ask about it?
- Making jokes about my wheelchair. Humour is one of the best ways to cope with shitty circumstances and you have to remember that despite the parts of me that don't work right, I'm just a dude trying to get by in the world. So go ahead and poke fun at me, but for the love of all that's good, be original! If I hear, "Hey, you got a license for that thing?" one more time, I will take out your ankles and punch you in the throat.
What actually keeps me up at night
- Thinking I'll always be an outsider, even among friends.
- Worrying that I'm not worthy of romantic love from a woman.
- Feeling like a burden to family and friends.
- Never finding a fulfilling job because of how my disability impacts my prospects.
- Never making decent money (for the same reason).
- Never having freedom of movement because I can't afford to employ a driver/assistant.
- A sudden change in my living arrangements destroying what little freedom I do have.
- Living all the way through my 20s with almost no memories of wild times.
- Feeling as though my life has no purpose or direction.
- Having absolutely no idea if things will get better or if what I have now is the best I'm gonna get.
I hope reading this was worth your time but if not, cry me a fucking river, jellybean.
