Wednesday 28 June 2017

Weird things about having a (mostly) online social life


The nature of my life with cerebral palsy means that with few exceptions, most of my time is spent at home. As a consequence, the internet has become my portal to the outside world, and social media my conduit for communication. I have friends across South Africa, North America, Europe  Australia and Asia, but when interactions are not bound by physical proximity, unexpected things start to happen. Here are just a few:


  • Wanting to talk to someone, then realising they're still asleep because of an eight-hour time difference and you'll just have to wait.
  • Learning a great deal about a friend's life before you know what their voice sounds like.
  • Being able to conversate almost entirely by way of memes.
  • Having your beliefs about the culture of other countries challenged, corrected and reshaped by the people who actually live there.
  • Feeling elated that there are people in the world who actually "get you", but sad because they are thousands of kilometres away.
  • Feeling more kinship with online friends than many people you've met in the real world. (Sorry if this hurts anyone's feelings, but it's the truth and I don't sugarcoat my views.)

Life is hard and I regularly experience profound, painful loneliness, but the people I've met while wandering the vast digital landscape are all kind, quirky individuals whom I am honoured to call my friends.

Tuesday 20 June 2017

The social justice mindscape


Preface:

I know this piece might ruffle some feathers, but how can I truly call myself a writer if I use my talent only to construct flowery ethereal offerings, yet remain silent on issues of tangible consequence? 

I am aware that not all advocates of social justice behave in the manner described herein, but from what I can see, those wielding the most power and influence certainly do.
________________________________________

Women's voices matter as long as they are used to cry "Misogyny!" Gay voices matter as long as they highlight the "narrow mindedness" of heterosexuality. Trans voices matter as long as they push for the recognition of a gender spectrum which directly conflicts with objective reality. Disabled voices matter as long as they conform to the role of pitiful victim. Non-white voices matter as long as they base their worth on the unchosen colour of their skin. Oh, and white voices? Their only value is as self-loathing slaves to the cause.

Remind me how this is a movement for the greater good?

Things of simple beauty


A smile of authentic joy.
Cupcakes baked with love.
Sunlight breaking through the leaves of a tall tree.
The scent of the air after a rainstorm.
The way a person's eyes spark when they discuss their life's passion.
Laughter shared with friends over a cherished memory,
Beauty exists in abundance, even in a world as cruel as this one. 

Monday 19 June 2017

My quadriplegic wishlist


Originally posted on Instagram on 19 June 2017:

One of the strangest things about quadriplegic life is to find yourself longing to do the mundane things that other people either take for granted or complain about having to do for themselves. So I thought I'd make a list:
  • Bathing/dressing/using the toilet privately.
  • Cooking meals
  • Cleaning the house
  • Doing laundry
  • Doing my own shopping
  • Going to bed late without bothering anyone
  • Going where I want, when I want
  • Visiting friends and not having to worry about whether I'll be able to get into their house.
Be grateful for your independence, it's worth more than you might think.  

Friday 16 June 2017

Be grateful, damn it!

Originally posted on Instagram on 16 June 2017:

How often today do we hear and see sentences which begin with "I deserve..."? Variations of this sentiment are a seemingly endless refrain in ad campaigns for everything from clothing and jewellery to perfume and cosmetics.
Here's a hard truth though; you don't deserve anything and nor does anyone else.

Your house is too small? Some people sleep on concrete.
You don't get to visit other countries? Some people have barely seen their own city.
Your car's old and worn out? Some people would jump at the chance to own a bicycle.

So the next time you catch yourself thinking, "I deserve..." stop and remember what you've already got.


Sunday 11 June 2017

Thoughts on friendship

Originally posted on Instagram on 11 June 2017:

All of us have flaws, but it seems increasingly common that our society defines friendship as supporting any choice made by those you care for, no matter how unwise it appears or how severe its consequences may be. In my view, if you are asked for advice, ignoring an obvious danger in order to spare someone's feelings is not friendship at all. It is cowardice.



Thursday 8 June 2017

Thoughts on success

Originally posted on Instagram on 7 June 2017:

Having been in a state of marginal employment for over a year (and recently losing the one job I did have) has challenged my idea of what it means to be successful. I've realised that even if I'm someday able to find work that pays well, happiness will not come from amassing a large collection of costly things. Money is a wonderful thing to have, but I think it's important to keep in mind that financial wealth should not be the ultimate goal, but a means of achieving greater, more useful goals.


Pushing limits: Baton, bags and a chain